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I rewrote the lyrics of a classic video game song, imitating the speech of Nathan W. Pyle‘s Strange Planet’s denizens:

Let us all competitively run faster than sound.
Maintain physical contact with the earth, if possible.
For those who competitively run faster than sound,
Sightseeing cannot be placed on the schedule.
We will merely competitively run faster than sound,
Until we reach a threshold that forbids backtracking.
Let us all competitively run faster than sound.
Please permit combustion.

Don’t recognize the song? Head this way~

“Raaa, I’m a pumpkin!”

So HiveMC recently released a wonderfully whimsical Minecraft minigame called “Pumpkinfection”, in which some people are pumpkins and want everyone else to be pumpkins, too. Whenever I play it, I start hearing this bit of video in my head, which only adds to the experience.

“Take me seriously as a pumpkin, please!”

(FYI to peeps from the future, HiveMC says this is a temporary game and might not stick around after Halloween.)

On Mii Fighter Final Smashes

Note: All links go to the same video with different timestamps.

I find it interesting how the Mii Fighters in Super Smash Bros. Wii U / 3DS mimic the Final Smashes of the main cast.

Mii Brawler mimics Greninja.
Mii Gunner of course mimics Samus.
And Mii Swordfighter mimics Wii Fit Trainer for some reason.

Although, it may be more accurate to say “Wii Fit Trainer mimics Mii Swordfighter for some reason.” Shooting sword slashes? That kinda makes sense for someone who’s sharing the stage with Link and Kirby, who have also used swords for projectile attacks. But shooting yoga poses? Wut?

That silly 404 page

Every website’s gotta have an HTTP 404 File Not Found page that says nothing is there, ask the link owner to fix the link, here’s how to find what you’re looking for, yada yada… why not have a little fun with it? If you get a 404 error on pikadudeno1.com, the site takes the number of letters in the requested URL modulo 6, and uses the result to choose one of 6 stupid jokes to show on the error page!

Were I to share a bunch of links to nonexistent pages, I’d end up with search engine robots trying to follow them all and getting a whole lotta nothing… which is why I’m using the Robots Exclusion Standard to stop them from visiting any URL that starts with “http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/”. And since the number of letters in the “nothingness/” prefix is a multiple of 6, it doesn’t change which message is chosen!

So, without further ado, here are all the silly messages that can appear:

http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/a
http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/bb
http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/ccc
http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/dddd
http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/eeeee
http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/ffffff

With a little cleverness, you can make URLs that appear related to the message that appears:

http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/LooksLikeAlderannsAGoner
http://pikadudeno1.com/nothingness/GrammarNaziHell

Whatever humor you may find in this feature, you’re certainly not finding a file.

That’s an interesting card

I was debugging a web game based on the standard 52-card deck, called Zapster Solitaire, which I’ll release later this year. The game is supposed to end when you’ve depleted the draw pile, but due to a bug I found the draw pile empty but the game still going. I tried drawing a card from the empty pile, and the program gave me the NaN of Hearts and declared me the winner. I found that hilarious.

The Ministry of Silly Math

The Internet features among its impressively large array of fantastically fun things a “proof” that uses basic algebra to demonstrate that 2 = 1:

a = b
a2 = ab
a2 – b2 = ab – b2
(a – b)(a + b) = b(a – b) (see Difference of two squares)
a + b = b
b + b = b (remember, a = b)
2b = b
2 = 1

The flaw, of course, is that since a = b, proceeding from the fourth equation to the fifth means dividing by zero. Don’t destroy the universe plzkthx.

Read on for a safer road to 1 = 0

You cannot comprehend what goes on in the mind of an Internet geek.

function getRandomAnimal() {
return "badger"; // Chosen from an Internet cartoon.
// Guaranteed to be random.
}

So, I was just thinking how Badger Badger Badger used to seem so random to me, but I’ve known it for such a long time now that it seems… not random. Somehow, this thought met this comic, fell deeply in love with it and got married, and now they’re raising a family. That’s their son up there.

Why stop a loving couple like this from getting married? Vote No on Proposition 33½.